How To...'fess Up To Your Mistake
Sun Herald
Sunday September 14, 2008
There are mistakes - "Whoops, I left the milk out overnight" - and there are mistakes - "Remember that sports car of yours...?" When confessing to a major transgression, speed is as vital as sincerity, advises Melbourne psychologist Meredith Fuller.
"The longer you leave it, the tougher it gets." Fuller says it is human nature to do so, but don't try to rationalise. "This is no time for pointing out how you were only 90 per cent responsible for the situation." Instead, she says, speak from the heart and rely only on the other person's mercy. Apologies, Fuller says, need three components. The first is to take full responsibility. "Even if it means saying, 'I know this is all my fault.'" Next, ask what you can do to put the situation right. Finally, give the other person the time and space to be, well, angry. "After you have apologised, it is time to withdraw for a few days," says Fuller. Then be prepared to be banished from the inner sanctum." But, she adds, "at least you know you have been honest and the person knows the truth about what happened."
© 2008 Sun Herald